CHAPTER 1

I peered through the window, staring at him. “Lawrence... you have grown so much...” I murmured, staring at him sit in the rose garden. But. In actuality, he had not seen my face since I had first found him two years ago. I had only been seventeen then, and I was now nineteen, and he was twenty-two.

I never really understood, why I did what I had done, that night.

I saved him.

People in gangs, people who leech off others.

I didn’t think he was like that.

Lawrence was Lawrence, sweet and tender.

I changed more than him, I watched from afar as his face changed, his body grew, all rapidly, because I had changed him. Because I wanted him. His, hair was still silver, streaked with night and his eyes still matched, he became more handsome every day. Too handsome.

He was also getting restless. He kept wanting to see me. I knew it was best to watch him and take care of him from afar, but stubborn and honourable Lawrence said I had to be repaid. I rolled my eyes, at the thought, What could he possibly do to repay me? Oh. Right.

I squeezed my eyes tight as I remembered the first time we had met, my lips tingled, as I thought of us kissing, and my cheeks flushed.

“Mistress!” someone called, I was slapped out of my imagination, and I turned to the door. “Master Lawrence says he wants to see you, again and he won’t leave until you see him. “Tell him, he is wasting his time, and that I am no not here.” I said simply. Rei, my head butler, bit his lip nervously. “He’s right here, Mistress...” his boyish-but handsome-face paled, as he saw my expression. I sighed then gave a low growl, “I knew I should not have come to visit, today. I should of stayed at my own mansion...” I muttered.

“What do I do-“ the door slammed open and Lawrence ran in, and kissed me. My eyes went wide, and I felt like someone had just saved me from my eternal salvation. I got that feeling in my stomach again, all light and bubbly inside. Rei gaped at Lawrence, and blushed, as he quickly walked out of the room, incredibly flustered.

“I missed you so much...” he said, his voice cracking. Imprinting... I thought weakly, as he nibbled on my neck. “Lawrence...” I said softly, “We can’t do this... You might get hurt.” I tried to explain. The thought of Lawrence getting hurt made my chest ache, and feel nauseous. “Don’t worry... I’m here.” He murmured, hugging me tight and smelling my hair. I thought of the men who tried to court me, they played dirty... they wanted money and wealth. Not me.                

“You cannot do that, sir!” I heard Rei protest. “I will most certainly do so!” someone snapped at him. I gasped, as he bit into my flesh. I tried to cover my mouth, so no one would hear, and I heard someone stomping up the stairs, “Lawrence!”I hissed, “You could get hurt!” I cried. He ignored it, and kissed my lips. “What are you doing?!” Scho screamed, as he walked in. “She is engaged to me!” I gasped for air, “I am not engaged to you!” I growled, “I don’t even like you! You make me sick.” I spat, glaring at him. narrowed his muddy green eyes and slapped me. I glared at him, my eyes glowing red, in a matter of seconds he was turning into ash, screaming to live. “You dared to raise your hand against me and now you shall pay.” I seethed.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

I felt light headed and dizzy, without the slightest idea. I looked around wearily, trying to avoid Lawrence’s gaze. My god, I thought,what must his expression be? One of horror? Disappointment? I swallowed, and look around wearily; disoriented. “Lawrence, leave. You have to go. Now.” He wasn’t horrified. It was horrified at that alone. He should be horrified. Disturbed. But no, he isn’t. He just comes and ignores me. Instead of listening and leaving, he came from behind me and hugged me. It was so... uncustomary. The tenderness that the embrace held was indescribable. It brought small flecks of tears to my eyes. No. Lawrence and you can’t be together. He can do better. You found him as a stupid, young teenager; bored and pitiful. Look what you did, Aleria. You fell inlove with him. You changed him. You want him to stay, don’t you? You want to be with him. This one that you changed.

I nearly started bawling right there at the self-confliction within me. I hate myself. I thought with a passion. I don’t deserve him, or anyone. I’m never good enough. No one loves me. My chest tightened, painfully. “Go.” I whispered. Part of me told me I wanted him so much. The other half told me I didn’t deserve to want him. That half was the smart one. He stared at me. “I’ll follow you.” He said, his voice echoing throughout the room. It was silent after that. For how long, I had no idea. I could hear the steady pounding of our hearts as we gazed at one another. “Don’t waste your time.” 

And with that, I attempted to walk out of his life.