CHAPTER 2

I walked. Walked and walked and walked till I had run out of thoughts to think of. They were all of Lawrence. ‘I’ll follow you.’ Someone would do that for me? Follow me? Stay... with me? I laughed and shook my head bitterly at the thought. Jaded, I am, and jaded, I’ll stay. No one will come in. Not for an eternity. But he did, didn’t he, Aleria? He came in so deep that you can never rid yourself of him. My jaw clenched at the inner voice and I punched the wall of the mansion.

Hey, I just said I walked till I ran out of thoughts to think of, not that I walked a long way.  I only walked about twenty feet from the door, actually. “Why.” He asked across the hallway. I kept walking.Walk, till nothing else exists. I told myself, swallowing a sob. Why did I come to love him? Why did I come to love someone? I gave him a cool look for a few seconds before turning on my heel to leave. Go. Leave, before you cannot. I gave a bitter laugh before saying:

"I never loved you anyway. Get over me, and get over yourself."

Did God make me stupid? Apparently, so. I mentally punched myself for my stupidity. I laughed, too. There was a variety of things building up in me at that moment. Sorrow. Irritation. Self-hate. I laughed. What was it that I laughed at? My stupidity. Then I shook my head and walked over to Rei. "Come, Rei. We have to go now." I gave a slight smile and twisted my head over to look at Lawrence. "Sayonara." I added with a small wave. Casual. So casual it hurt more than just a goodbye. 




"Mistress, are you not going to...?" I gave him a small smile, tilting my head up at him from where I walked beside him. "Oh?" He coughed awkwardly, "Take him in with you..." he murmured quietly. I smiled, for an answer and stepped into the car. He frowned and looked backward at the other mansion with a sad smile. Just as I, when he wasn't looking. In the car, too. I gazed back at it, subtly, with longing. I'm a huge idiot. No other word for it, that isn't a synonym. Ugh. But I can't turn back now. This is better for him. He can find someone better than me.


Then it dawned on me. Why exactly is it dangerous for him to be with me? I narrowed me eyes in thought. There were the basics. But there was more to that. Something, I had not yet, figured out. I sighed and looked at the retreating landscape behind me. "Maybe things would be different, if I were..." I gave a strained smile and closed my eyes. I would of been looking up at the grey ceiling of the car, if I weren't so tired. But I was. Exhausted, for that matter. Since sleep and exhaustion go hand in hand (or so, I assume) I went into a deep sleep. In the car.